Happy Belated? International Day of People with Disabilities!

My Early Morning Text

Last Thursday, the first text I received was from a friend at 7:14 am “Hey Happy International Day for People with Disabilities! He followed with “I’m in an enable webcast this morning listening to stories of Inclusion and celebrating Diversity!”  “What the?” I mumbled under by breath! Did I forget that it was December 3^rd?  

December 3^rd has been designated International Day of People with Disability (IDPWD).  IDPWD was proclaimed in 1992 by the UN Assembly and it “aims to promote the rights and well-being of persons with disabilities in all spheres of society and development, and to increase awareness of the situation of persons with disabilities in every aspect of political, social, economic and cultural life” – un.org. The 2020 theme centers around “Building Back Better:  Toward a disability-inclusive, accessible and sustainable post COVID-19 World.  “According to WHO World Report on Disability, 15 percent of the world’s population, or more than 1 billion people, are living with disability.  450 million are living with mental or neurological condition – and two-thirds of these people will not seek professional help, largely due to stigma, discrimination and neglect.” — Idpwd.org

The pandemic not surprisingly has intensified the isolation, loneliness, and impacts on services to this community … indeed my community.  I like to fancy myself as quite independent but even I struggle to get errands done in today’s world.  Getting cab drivers to allow me to sit in the front seat where its easier for me has been a challenge.  Luckily, I have a regular driver that I have a good relationship with, a shared trust, who lets me sit in the front seat, both fully masked up. Even so, I need to do any outings during his shift and I do try to limit the need to go out in compliance with social distancing rules.  I can’t even imagine the challenges people face in developing countries or places where there is even greater stigma to disabilities.  And for those who suffer from mental health issues, isolation may not only be difficult but devastating!

For obvious reasons, I have quite a bit to say in this space.  More than can be captured in this blog today but I am seriously considering the requests I’ve received to write a book in the future. That way I can take my time telling the stories that need to be told.

So, for now I will focus on the following themes:

We Need less surface conversations and more grit to our conversations

In my second blog, I touched on how proud I was to be a part of the growing conversations at work around disability awareness and how far we have come from the time I started in the workforce.  We need to look at that progress with pride!  That does not mean we don’t have a long way to go!  As far as the conversations that need to take place, I’m aware that my opinion might be a bit provocative, but I feel that we are still gliding on the surface of meaningful discussions and we aren’t getting to the hard, gritty conversations.

My experience has been that we have ended up in a place where we are too afraid to ask questions or say things that may be considered politically incorrect. Because of that we are missing the opportunity to connect with, learn from, and to teach each other!  I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked what the appropriate words were to describe a disability!  Is it “Disabled”? “Handicapped?”, “Physically Challenged?”, “Differently Abled?”  That last one just makes me roll my eyes because we are all differently abled!  For me, I can tell you it is not the descriptor that you use, but the tone and body language you use when you approach the subject.  I am in no way saying that my community should accept rudeness or abusive language, rather I am saying that to foster real connection and teaching we need to encourage the awkward moments and yes awkward, uncomfortable questions (I’ve had some doozies asked in all different situations, by adults and kids alike)!  In fact, I love the way kids just blurt out things to me … often times causing that ever predictable look of terror by the parent who has gone through the HR sensitivity training at their workplace!  There is something refreshing about having a kid come up and say, “Why do you walk like that”? “What happened to you”? or my favorite “You’re not old … why do you walk with a cane?”  Although lately, I don’t get that comment … maybe my wrinkles are starting to give me away!  Please parents do not stop your children from being curious and asking questions! But they do need to know that not everyone they approach will be ready to talk, maybe they aren’t yet comfortable with themselves.  That’s ok too! This is the kind of courage and curiosity we need to carry into adult and workplace conversations!

If you are curious and willing to test approaching one of these difficult conversations, maybe try leading with “I’m not sure if this is the right way to put this question, or even if you are comfortable chatting about this, but I was wondering ….?”  Now even more important, if you are going to ask the questions, make sure you take the time to really listen because you are being given the gift of knowledge and experience!

I encourage anyone who wants to ask me that question they never dared to, to please do so in the comments section!  I will be completely honest in my answers … my promise to you!

Accessibility – More than just Building Codes

When I think of the issue of accessibility my head literally gets overcrowded with words and that makes this section even more difficult to write, but let me share a few thoughts:

Sometimes code doesn’t cut it

A lot of progress has been made in building accessibility, such as ramps, elevators, automatic doors, handicapped washrooms, based on clear building codes accepted by the construction industry and legislators.  Again, let’s be grateful for that!  Now here is reality … those codes need regular review and revision to accommodate the ever-growing disabled community who are active in the outside world and the workforce.  I’ve travelled a lot for work and for pleasure and I can tell you that much work needs to be done to improve the concept of accessible hotel rooms!  Having one lonely grab bar in a tub, does not cut it for someone like me with balance issues trying to step into a tub … even if it is low profile!  That said I’ve become very creative in my workaround solutions and I’ll save the often hilarious details for my book!  Also, an automatic door is only helpful if its fully functioning!  A few years ago, Shell commissioned the Prospect Now Organization (whose vision is “to reduce barriers and deliver sustainable solutions so that everyone, regardless of circumstance, can reach his or her employment potential) www.prospectnow.ca, to do an accessibility audit of Shell Centre. One of my proudest moments, was getting the support of our senior leaders to put in automatic doors at the main entrance even though it wasn’t required by code because there was an automatic door on the side entrance!  It took a while, but we got it done!  This year they also launched a fuel service app at their retail sites to assist people with disabilities when they come to the station.  I met the developer Niall El-Assaad when Canada first started considering the app and he has a very compelling story around his “Why” and I encourage you take a moment to read the short article on him in the Huffington Post.  https://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/author/niall-elassaad/.  You can also learn more about his organization at fuelservice.org

There are many other companies and organizations doing great things in this space! I encourage you all after reading this story to scan your environment … work and leisure … to see if there is room to advocate for improvement to accessibility!

The importance of self identification

My belief is that the best way to progress job accessibility is through self-identification and awareness at All levels of the organization!  Yes, I think companies need to strive for creating a level playing field, but I am painfully aware that this is made extremely difficult without knowing the needs of the current and prospective employees.  Again, this is best facilitated by those open and honest conversations that are less guarded and more gritty.  For me these conversations were easier to broach because I could not hide my disability and so although still sometimes awkward, the discussion seemed more natural.  Often when I met someone for the first time by phone, and if I knew we were going to soon meet face-to-face, I would at some point say, “I need to tell you something about me” and I’d proceed to briefly explain my disability.  I started doing this not because it was a factor in my performance but because it made the initial “in-person” meeting easier for both of us, avoiding the usually badly disguised look of surprise!  For those non-visible disabilities, we really need to help leadership become more educated, curious and proactive by summoning the courage to initiate these conversations as employees.

It would be noticeably ignorant of me however, to not recognize that for some the stigma, discrimination and cultural differences still today make it incredibly difficult to self-identify and initiate these conversations. But I do have hope because I have personally seen great work done by my former colleagues around the world … India, Africa, the Philippines, China, Latin America!  A grass roots revolution has started, and we need to leverage the passion and initiatives that we are seeing today, to be the change for the future!  My advice for those who may be struggling to have those conversation is to leverage your HR Team or the disability networks if you have them in your organization … I have faith they can help you work through your concerns.  As well, I am always happy to chat and you can reach me by one of my options on my Contact Page!

There is so much more in this space to discuss … leadership representation in the community, accessibility to jobs at remote sites, what benefits people with disabilities bring to a team (resilience, creativity, emotional intelligence to name a few). Let’s not forget the growing purchasing power of this community as customers and their propensity to be fiercely loyal when you win them over! I will continue to touch on these points in the future!

The Power of the question “Are you OK?”

Undeniably the impact of the pandemic on people’s mental health has been overwhelming for many.  The network that I was on at Shell spent a great deal of effort to spread awareness and to educate by bringing in some very powerful keynote speakers!  You could see the connection people felt when they listened to these folks. There was more than one instance when I would look into the audience and saw tears welling in many attendees’ eyes, or that gentle nod of the head that indicated either they have experienced similar feelings or someone dear to them has suffered or is suffering today.

On Facebook I see many people wanting to help in this space by posting offers to be there if someone needs, at any time!  This is truly heartwarming in a world that sometimes appears combative, dismissive and lacking compassion.  But I feel it’s important to remind you that for many people suffering, they will be reluctant to ask for help or to reach out directly!  This is where the power of the question “Are you ok?” comes in to play.  Especially in todays world, if you know someone who may be withdrawing, or doesn’t sound quite right when you are chatting, or even if your gut just tells you something is not right … those three words are so important!  Again, if you ask the question, make sure you have time to truly listen to the answer … without judgement and often without trying to solve for them!  Just let them be heard, let them feel connected and cared for!

Final Thoughts

I know I should have posted this on December 3^rd , but as mentioned, there is so much in this space that can and needs to be said, I struggled to decide what I needed to say first.  My hope is that it didn’t come across as a lecture but that it gave you pause to once again reflect. And for me and 1 billion other people, every day is a day of people with disabilities and this conversation and movement needs to continue beyond one day each year!

Dedication

I dedicate this to all of the folks in my community and to Kirill K and Ivy C who reached out to me last Thursday! As the leaders of the future you give me hope and a reason to keep fighting alongside you!